Appreciative-caution rather than rebuke

 

Appreciatively caution rather than rebuke your neighbor

Herein, I independently review Bible instruction regarding perceived human offenses. Perceived harm may and can be addressed, and I recommend appreciative caution rather than rebuke, in order to resolve perceptions rather than retreat in unjustified forgiveness. The guiding principle is that a civic citizen neither initiates nor accommodates harm to or from any person, including self. "Civic" means responsibly reliable in human connections and transactions.

Introduction

I work to practice, facilitate,& encourage Genesis 1:26-28-NIV's message: on earth, humankind may rule in order to aid the-good. Each person may and can choose responsible-human-independence (RHI), in order to aid the-good rather than to accommodate the-bad. Neither a lesser species, nor a government, nor possible consequences of personal choice can usurp the human-being’s opportunity to practice civic integrity in appreciation to the-ineluctable-truth, unknown as it may be. Ineluctable means: actual reality not to be assailed, avoided, changed, escaped, hidden, neglected, rationalized, or resisted. For example, rejection by a community that does not appreciate Jesus does not influence someone who chooses to mimic Jesus. I think people who rely on the-ineluctable-truth approach both the-good and the perfection of their unique person.

Here is the pertinent quotation from Genesis-1, NIV: 

Then God said, ‘Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.’ So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.

The thought I advocate and practice is: Then the-God said, "Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule [the earth and life there].” I use "the-God" for acceptance without characterization; for example, I accept seemingly mysterious singularity ("us make" vs "his own image"). 

It seems humankind is solely responsible for comprehensive safety and security on earth. However, not every person chooses to pursue the-good.

I do not know much if any the-ineluctable-truth. In a civic culture, when there is apparent offense, I suggest “appreciative-caution” rather than “rebuke” and share my opinions about resolution, hoping to improve myself by listening to fellow-citizens.

A glossary springing from Genesis 1 NIV, Merriam-Webster.com, or cited reference

1.      Appreciative caution: When a fellow citizen perceives erroneous plan/action by another, civic appreciation empowers the perceiver to efficiently suggest and consider caution, without psychological threat to either party. For example, appreciating speaker can and may assert to listener, “I think I perceive harm/injury, if you act”, without lessening civic appreciation. The listener responds according to their independent perception. The person who rejects appreciative citizenship invites/nourishes dependency. For example, first responders may need to be called up.

2.      Appreciative inquiry: a psychological system offered at positivepsychology.com/; it differs from “appreciative caution”.

3.      Caution: warning, admonishment

4.      Civic integrity: reliable responsibility to the-good in human connections and transactions

5.      Criticize: to express disapproval

6.      Constructive criticism: feedback that provides specific, actionable suggestions (indeed.com). I prefer “appreciative suggestion”.

7.      Correction: amendment, rectification, normalizing/standardizing, rehabilitation

8.      Disapprove: unfavorably judge; reject

9.      Rebuke: to criticize sharply: reprimand. Archaic: to turn back or keep down: check. [Mathis: Discourage habituating a destructive path. A great act of love.]

10.  Reproof: criticism for a fault; rebuke

Note: these definitions may/may-not belong in the developing civic glossary posted on promotethepreamble.blogspot.com.

The Bible suggests to rebuke a fellow-citizen then to forgive without potential for improvement

I think the Bible errs regarding appreciative caution. I take no interest in forgiveness to bargain with the-God and will not yield civic integrity. Also, I accept no leadership that accommodates hate among earth’s fellow citizens. To address hate is to accommodate it.

Most interpretation of the Bible or about its words informs the human-being, I think erroneously, not to expect a fellow citizen to accept self interest in personal reform. Consider 3 Bible passages – in Leviticus, Matthew, and Luke -- and their potentials to fulfill Genesis 1:26-28, NIV. Compare my adaptation called “Nomad’s Bible interpretation” with both NIV and The Message Bible.

Nomads’ Bible interpretation, adapting NIV passages to comport to Genesis 1:26-28

Leviticus 19:17-19. Do not hate a fellow citizen in your heart. Caution a suspected offender frankly, immediately, and appreciatively so you will not accommodate harm/injury to or from anyone, including each other. Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against any citizen, but expect them to pursue the-good. Be humble to consequences of personal choices.

Matthew 18: 15-17 “If your neighbor errs against you, appreciatively tell them. If they listen and respond, hear and consider their reaction. The may convince you that you err, and if so, apologize, make amends, and reform. But if they will not listen, memorialize the harm to you in an appreciative letter. If they still refuse to listen, take your claim to the court. Continue to appreciate them as a fellow citizen. They may and can choose to reform

Matthew 18: 21-22 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive an appreciative fellow-citizen who errs against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I told you in Genesis 1:26-28 that human-being can and may, without my aid, constrain chaos to life on earth. I will neither usurp nor mislead RHI as a personal choice.

Luke 17:3-4: Be civically alert. If you observe/opine a fellow-citizen is in or is planning error, caution them. If they respond, collaborate to mutually approach the-good and reach agreement. If not, call-in first responders – the police, if necessary. If the cautioned citizen repents and reforms, forgive them. If they habitually cause harm/injury, practice RHI under necessity and justice: pursue some form of constraint. Civic citizens pursue RHI so that they may each influence widespread civic integrity. Not every person appreciates their lifetime opportunity to pursue civic integrity.

NIV Bible

Leviticus 19:17-19. ‘Do not hate a fellow Israelite in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in their guilt. “‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.

Matthew 18: 15-17 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.  But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Matthew 18: 21-22 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

 Luke 17:3-4 So watch yourselves. If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”

The Message Bible

 

Leviticus 19:17-19. “Don't secretly hate your neighbor. If you have something against him, get it out into the open; otherwise you are an accomplice in his guilt. Don't seek revenge or carry a grudge against any of your people. Love your neighbor as yourself. I am God.” 

Matthew 18: 15-17: If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.

Matthew 18: 21-22 At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, "Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?" Jesus replied, "Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.”

Luke 17:3-4 "Be alert. If you see your friend going wrong, correct him. If he responds, forgive him. Even if it's personal against you and repeated seven times through the day, and seven times he says, 'I'm sorry, I won't do it again,' forgive him."

A side note about appreciation
Love is a theme in the Bible. However, in life, “love” is often overboard or unwanted. I think “appreciation” is a better public choice, leaving love for mutual sincerity between individuals, whatever their status in life.

My opinion calls into question Jesus’ repetition of the so called “Golden Rule” in Leviticus 19:19. In Matthew 19:19, it’s a closing instruction, and in Matthew 20:40, it’s a command. In any case, it’s directed to Jews rather than to fellow-citizens. And the purpose is to avoid complacency to the harm.

Beyond the closed society of the Jews, the rule does not apply. A Jew does not want to be treated as a Christian, and vice-versa. And neither Jew nor Christian wants to be treated as a pagan. No one wants their God questioned, yet no theist is humble to the-God, whatever it is. I thought Catholics are Christians before I learned they don’t consider Protestants Christian, or vice-versa. In general, the Golden Rule can’t substitute for RHI. Wikipedia has a good review of the Golden Rule’s issues with objections presented at the end. It’s better to promote RHI.

I think the-God is the-laws-of-physics and its progeny applied to the-good. Recently, I discovered that “necessity” nearly expresses this view of the-God. If we try to express the Golden Rule as necessity, we have “Do unto others according to necessity”. For example, if someone intends to murder you, kill them if it is necessary. Necessarily, if you perceive someone is in error, you choose to tell them so and listen to their response. If they convince you that you erred, you admit it, apologize, and make amends. On the other hand, if they accept, apologize, and make amends, necessity is served. If you appreciate someone or their action, you may say, “I appreciate you”. You maintain caution that love, empathy, and tolerance may be an imposition the other party did not want and does not accept.

Applications to education
Most cultures inculcate popular-doctrine to their youth. It is popular to attempt to convince a higher power to usurp personal RHI. Consequently, the youth are destined to either remain adolescents or discover self-interest in humility toward consequences of choice. They may re-educate themselves to habitually avoid loss and pain. In other words, to pursue RHI as a personal interest.

In my fourth quarter century, I serenely trust my afterdeath to my origins and, possessing the opportunity, choose to practice, facilitate, and encourage civic integrity among the citizens of the world, especially in my community. I do not think I am alone: many fellow-citizens think they can and-therefore choose to independently aid safety and security-on-Earth.

I glean my opinion from Jesus’s civic influence, which fellow citizens comprehend through collaborative discussion to the-good, whatever it is.

 

Epilogue: modern debate

Below, I share an online opinion, “Embrace the Blessing of Rebuke”, and my opposition in yellow highlight, to emphasize that the topic is of current interest.

Copyright©2023 by Phillip R. Beaver. All rights reserved. Permission is hereby granted for the publication of all or portions of this paper as long as this complete copyright notice is included. Updated on October 2, 2023

Here’s that opposing opinion:

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/embrace-the-blessing-of-rebuke

AUGUST 27, 2014

Embrace the Blessing of Rebuke

Article by 

David Mathis

Executive Editor, desiringGod.org

One of the most loving things anyone can do for you is tell you when you’re wrong. [appreciative rather than loving, yet I accept Mathis’ expression]

Call it correction, reproof, or rebuke — Paul uses all three terms in just four verses in 2 Timothy 3:16–4:2 — but don’t miss what makes it distinctively Christian, and a gift to our souls: It is a great act of love. The kind of rebuke that the Scriptures commend is the kind intended to stop us from continuing on a destructive path. [Mathis presented no reason to label this citizenship “Christian”, unless he means to be Christian means to agree with Paul.]

Watershed of Wisdom

Reproof is a fork in the road for a sinful soul. [Bemusing necessary justice as spiritual ruins its impact. I think “sin” is popular in Christian literature, because “error” would be too personal and suggest responsibility.] Will we cringe at correction like a curse, or embrace rebuke as a blessing? One of the great themes in Proverbs is that those who embrace rebuke are wise and walk the path of life, while those who despise reproof find themselves to be fools careening toward death.

The Proverbial warnings against dismissing brotherly correction are staggering. The one who rejects reproof leads others astray (Proverbs 10:17), is stupid (Proverbs 12:1) and a fool (Proverbs 15:5), and despises himself (Proverbs 15:32). “Whoever hates reproof will die” (Proverbs 15:10), and “poverty and disgrace come to him” (Proverbs 13:18). [Christianity lessens OT civic-advice by touting NT afterdeath-rewards. It’s a vain hope to avoid ineluctable death.]

But just as astounding are the promises of blessing to those who embrace rebuke. “Whoever heeds reproof is honored” (Proverbs 13:18) and prudent (Proverbs 15:5). “He who listens to reproof gains intelligence” (Proverbs 15:32), loves knowledge (Proverbs 12:1), will dwell among the wise (Proverbs 15:31), and is on the path of life (Proverbs 10:17) — because “the rod and reproof give wisdom” (Proverbs 29:15) and “the reproofs of discipline are the way of life” (Proverbs 6:23).

To the one who embraces rebuke, God says, “I will pour out my spirit to you” (Proverbs 1:23), but to the one who despises it, “I will laugh at your calamity” (Proverbs 1:25–26). It will be said of those who reject correction, “They shall eat the fruit of their way, and have their fill of their own devices” (Proverbs 1:30–31), and it’s only a matter of time until they themselves will say, “I am at the brink of utter ruin” (Proverbs 5:12–14).

And when ruin comes for the fool who resists reproof, it will be sudden and devastating: “He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck, will suddenly be broken beyond healing” (Proverbs 29:1). [However, the Christian perceives exemption through grace --- perceives antinomianism.]

Open the Gift

The wise recognize rebuke as a gift of gold (Proverbs 25:12). It is kindness, and a token of love. “Let a righteous man strike me — it is a kindness; let him rebuke me — it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it” (Psalm 141:5). [That’s just “OT-rule” misinformation, say some Christians.]

Often it is easier for others in our lives not to say anything, but just let us go merrily on our way down the path of folly and death. But reproof is an act of love, a willingness to own that awkward moment, and perhaps having your counsel thrown back in your face, for the risk of doing someone good. When a spouse or friend or family member or associate rises to the level of such love, we should be profoundly thankful. [That’s true. However, such appreciation should and could be common under Genesis 1:28’s RHI. This is key to my entire thesis: forgiveness 7 times 70 does not fulfill the obligation to present to the offender the opportunity to reform, and call in the police if necessary. The fault I find here, is with the author of the indefinite forgiveness idea. Jesus did not write, and therefore cannot be held to be the author. I could be wrong on all counts but don’t think I am.]

Hear God’s Voice in Your Brother’s

All of us who have in Christ “all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Colossians 2:3), and are in our right mind, will want to “listen to advice and accept instruction, that [we] may gain wisdom in the future” (Proverbs 19:20). We’ll not just suffer someone speaking into our lives, but invite them to do so — and when they do, embrace it as a blessing. Even when it’s a rebuke poorly delivered, and the timing and tone are off, and the motivation seems suspect, we’ll want to ransack it for every grain of truth, and then repent, and thank God for the grace of having people in our lives who love us enough to say something. [That proverb seems true, and such appreciation could be common under Genesis 1:28’s RHI.]

 

Not wanting to “despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof” (Proverbs 3:11), we’ll ask, How is it that God’s reproof most often comes to us? Answer: in reproof from a brother or sister in Christ. We’ll beware resisting the reproof of a fellow in Jesus, especially when it’s echoed in multiple voices, knowing that likely we would be resisting the very reproof of God. [I think “Christ” bothers Jesus. I’m wrong if Christ is God. However, there’s bemusement in diluting the power of God by attributing it to Christ instead of Jesus.]

 

When a brother or sister in Christ goes to the inconvenience to have the unpleasant conversation bringing correction into our lives, we should be floored with thanksgiving. “The Lord reproves him whom he loves” (Proverbs 3:12). Count it as love from your brother, and as God’s channel of his love for you. [Why discourage acceptance of correction from a fellow citizen? Not only that, but if the brother or sister errs, their approach us informed and positioned us to appreciatively caution them.]

Easier Said Than Done

But all of that, of course, is much easier said than done. Deep down in the caverns of our remaining sin, where we can be most callous to true grace in its varied forms, we don’t want to hear any correction. Something wicked in us recoils. [“Sin” instead of “error” invites the excuse “something wicked in us”. We have no doubt that we are responsible from our errors.]

When we hear that “all Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable,” it’s natural to be more excited about it being “for teaching” and “for training in righteousness” than “for reproof” and “for correction” (2 Timothy 3:16). That’s too personal. That touches a nerve.

And forces from without don’t make it any easier. It shouldn’t surprise us that the societal air we breathe is hostile to correction and reproof, even in their most gentle and loving varieties. If humanity isn’t depraved in nature and sinful in practice, then rebuke is no longer a life-saver, but an annoyance. But if we do acknowledge that we are flawed, selfish, and arrogant and regularly sin with our words and actions, then we will learn to see a brother’s rebuke for the tremendous grace that it is. [This paragraph attempts to negate the Genesis 1 assertion female& male-human-being in God’s image --- can& may provide order& prosperity to the lesser species and to Earth. That’s the reform I want to encourage: we may and can choose the-good in every action.]

Unlock the Power

But however much receiving reproof goes against our native instincts or catches us off our gospel guard in the moment, we have this great hope to grow into: The love of Christ for us is the skeleton key able to unlock for us the power of rebuke. With him in view, the one “who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20), no longer must reproof be an assault on our very foundations and deep sense of worth, but it becomes a fresh opportunity for growth and greater joy. [I object to the substitution of “Christ gave himself for me” for “Jesus influences me to be perfect” to the-good.]

“With such a Savior to steady our feet, we can embrace rebuke for the blessing that it is.”

It is another grace of the gospel that by the Spirit we can grow skin thick enough to hear any reproof as a pathway to yet even more grace. It is the gospel that gives us the wherewithal for truly leaning into rebuke and receiving its bounty. [I assert that a more direct message is that appreciative suggestion is more effective than loving rebuke.]

Only in Jesus can we find our identity not in being without fault, but in being shown love by God when we’re still sinners and chock-full of faults (Romans 5:8). With such a Savior to steady our feet, we can embrace rebuke for the blessing that it is. [Presenting “Jesus” in competition with “God” as a closing thought is doubly self-defeating: Jesus is God, according to the Trinity.]

 

David Mathis (@davidcmathis) is executive editor for desiringGod.org and pastor at Cities Church. He is a husband, father of four, and author of Humbled: Welcoming the Uncomfortable Work of God (2021).